I realize not everyone's as into me as I am (idiots), but I wanted to take a few moments to explain my background. My affinity for over-populated tourist traps can be summed up with Intution's "Buzzkill" song:
"I was raised in the sticks but I love me some city life."
I grew up in the U.P. The "up?" Excuse me? What the fuck is that? It's that little part of Michigan that has a 50% chance of making it on any map or picture of the United States. There's nothing up there except trees and deer. Yes, we have running water. No, I don't ride my snowmobile to school...hmmm...but some people did. Also, it's a povery zone! Neat-o, kids!
I've never moved. I spent my childhood there, I went through my awkward adolescent phase there, and even went to college there. Further north. For all intensive purposes, Canada. Minus the free healthcare.
When I graduated, I moved to Tampa. Culture shock, but a great one. After a few years, Justin and I moved back to the midwest. Central Wisconsin. His preference, not mine. This place is ridic. Let me itemize all the ridiculous questions I've asked myself in my 6 month stint here:
What. The. Fuck...is that smell? Cow maneure.
What. The. Fuck...does that bumper sticker say? Something about Brett Farve?
Does everyone own a barn?
Does everyone love the Packers?
Highest propery tax of any state. I'm paying extra to live here?
I can't buy beer after 10 pm?
But the bars open at 8 am?
Shaking dice? I can gamble for free booze?
There's a blizzard in April?
You don't have a Bebe in this mall?
I'm the skinniest girl here?
You live in Milwaukee...on purpose?
It's a cheese/liquor store?
Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about a weekend in Detroit. Even more excited to return to Tampa.
"I was raised in the sticks but I love me some city life."
I grew up in the U.P. The "up?" Excuse me? What the fuck is that? It's that little part of Michigan that has a 50% chance of making it on any map or picture of the United States. There's nothing up there except trees and deer. Yes, we have running water. No, I don't ride my snowmobile to school...hmmm...but some people did. Also, it's a povery zone! Neat-o, kids!
I've never moved. I spent my childhood there, I went through my awkward adolescent phase there, and even went to college there. Further north. For all intensive purposes, Canada. Minus the free healthcare.
When I graduated, I moved to Tampa. Culture shock, but a great one. After a few years, Justin and I moved back to the midwest. Central Wisconsin. His preference, not mine. This place is ridic. Let me itemize all the ridiculous questions I've asked myself in my 6 month stint here:
What. The. Fuck...is that smell? Cow maneure.
What. The. Fuck...does that bumper sticker say? Something about Brett Farve?
Does everyone own a barn?
Does everyone love the Packers?
Highest propery tax of any state. I'm paying extra to live here?
I can't buy beer after 10 pm?
But the bars open at 8 am?
Shaking dice? I can gamble for free booze?
There's a blizzard in April?
You don't have a Bebe in this mall?
I'm the skinniest girl here?
You live in Milwaukee...on purpose?
It's a cheese/liquor store?
Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about a weekend in Detroit. Even more excited to return to Tampa.
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